Who am I? What is life? Where am
I really going? Is there really a God? These are the questions that I used to
ask myself, and still ask until today. One way or the other, asking myself
these questions helped me to confidently face life, make decisions and take a
leap forward. And one of these decisions is to become a missionary,
particularly a Columban lay missionary.
I
came to know of the Columbans when I was in high school because of my passion
for reading and life of adventure. And I can still remember that after reading
stories about the life and works of the missionaries, I felt a nudge in my
heart that somehow made me decide at that time that I want to become a
missionary and live a life of adventure. And of course, like every other dream,
it was forgotten for quite a long time. But, indeed, God works in mysterious
ways and now, I am close-maybe to living that dream already.
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| With kids at the Balitawak (Quezon City) overpass bridge |
But
living that dream still takes a lot of effort to be able to fully achieve it.
There are things to give up and things to work out or nourish. One of the
things that was not easy for me to give up is the comfort I have with my
family. I have been with them all my life and in the glimpse of an eye, I am
leaving them for a dream. It sounds so selfish that sometimes I want to pack my
bags and go back home. Then it hit me that maybe it goes the same for them that
is why they just let me be. But given that there were no objections coming from
them, I take it as a positive note that they also want the best for me. That
they trust me and that they give their support. Besides, in the end, I will
always have the last call to decide on what to do with my life.
The things to work out and
nourish were made possible because of the great support coming from the
Columban society. All I can say for now, is that the orientation program is
running smoothly. There are times that it gets bumpy given that we are still
humans and that everyone of us have our own struggles to live with. But in
general, I am enjoying the ride to that moment, God-willing, when I become
officially a part of the Columban society. The orientation program has helped
me a lot in ways I could not explain in detail. I am thankful for all the
lessons, sessions and experiences because it helped a great deal in my
internalizations on who I am and my realizations of God. For me, this part of
my journey is probably one of the most liberating. Liberating in a sense that I
learned that it is ok to be me, that you do not have to be perfect. And that
your imperfections are part of who you are. Perhaps, this is the charisma of
the Columban society that even after forgetting a dream I made for myself many
years ago, God made a way to help me in pursuing that dream.
As I continue this journey in
preparation for my overseas mission and discovering more of myself and God, I
pray that I will finally get to that point to say, “Yes, finally!”. In God’s
grace, everything is possible.
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