After 10 weeks of hospital based programs, Ger, Rose and Jayjay are happy to finally graduate from CPE last December 17, 2009. Below, Rose shares some of her experiences and reflections on CPE. View more CPE photos here.
I came, I struggled, I survived!
by Rosalia Basada (Rose)
Honestly, CPE was a hard experience for me and I could not imagine how I survived the training. I remember my first 3 days at the Lung Center I had fever after visiting patients with mallary Tuberculosis and every time I went out from the rooms of the patients I felt cold and it was as if I was carrying heavy loads. I prayed that I would not be assigned there. Luckily, I was assigned at the National Kidney and Transplant Institute and I did get the private rooms but where some of the conditions were almost as critical as in the Lung Center. In my area of assignment, I learned to recognize and purify my fear of dying patients but it took weeks for me to adjust and get comfortable with the patients. I had many heartwarming and touching moments with them. In fact whenever I visited the patients, it was as if they were the ones ministering to me helping me to overcome my fears.
Once a week I also have a one day visit at the hemodialysis ward . During my visits there, I encountered many helpless patients with chronic kidney problems. Some were very young that I really pity them and there were times when I felt helpless ministering to them. I could not continue because I do not know what to say anymore that I had to abort the visit. During group processing I asked my supervisor how to facilitate a helpless patient and I was told to make follow up visits. Slowly, I learned to deal with my feeling of helplessness.
CPE, was also a time for growth. It convinced me that there is something more about my life. It helps me get in touch with my inner feelings and recognize my personal issues. Because of this my journey towards self healing is easier and my interpersonal relationship with other people improved. I thank my peers for being part of my growth experience and I am happy and grateful indeed to our coordinator-formator for sending us to CPE. I thank also our supervisors for accompanying us in this journey towards a better self. Be assured that the moment we go out from this institution we will no longer be the same as we came in…because now we are better persons.
In the beginning, it was hard for me to start but now it’s hard to make an end. My ten weeks experience in CPE is truly one of the best in my life. Yes it was hard but I survived…I came, I struggled, I survived!